Jokes and Riddles

Here's another 1...



why did snoop dogg need a umbrella???














"FO DRIZZLE" LOL!

i liked the gov't one.. im all late.. but yea.. good one!!!

yo hair so nappy moses couldnt even part it....ha!

> >El gato asi hizo
>
> >El gato es hizo
>
> >El gato como hizo
>
> >El gato se hizo
>
> >El gato mantiene hizo
>
> >El gato a hizo
>
> >El gato un hizo
>
> >El gato idiota hizo
>
> >El gato ocupado hizo
>
> >El gato por hizo
>
> >El gato cuarenta hizo
>
> >El gato segundos hizo
>
> >
>
> >AHORA LEE SOLO LA "TERCERA" PALABRA DE CADA UNA DE LAS ORACIONES Y..... NO
>

^^Dammit...ya got me there!

i have another one

QUEMA MAS EL SOL PERO QUEMA MAS LA LUNA

yall get it..

i got this email.. and i agree w. a lot of em...

NADA COMPARADO CON LA REALIDAD

NACOS vs FRESAS

Asi es la vida . esta es la definicion de las personas fresas y los nacos.


FRESA CON PISTOLA................................. PRECAVIDO

NACO CON PISTOLA.................................. DELINCUENTE


FRESA CON MANICURE..............................PLAY BOY

NACO CON MANICURE................................. MARICON


FRESA CON ALAS ................................... ANGEL

NACO CON ALAS..................................... MURCIELAGO


FRESA EN EL PROSTIBULO........................... BUSCA PLACER

NACO EN EL PROSTIBULO............................. BUSCA A LA HERMANA


FRESA LEYENDO PERIODICO........................... INTELECTUAL

NACO LEYENDO PERIODICO............................ BUSCA CHAMBA


FRESA CORRIENDO................................... DEPORTISTA

NACO CORRIENDO.................................... RATERO


FRESA VESTIDO DE BLANCO........................... DOCTOR

NACO VESTIDO DE BLANCO............................ LECHERO


FRESA CON MALETIN................................. EJECUTIVO

NACO CON MALETIN.................................. VENDEDOR


FRESA HOMOSEXUAL.................................. GAY

NACO HOMOSEXUAL................................... PUTO


FRESA RASCANDOSE.................................. ALERGICO

NACO RASCANDOSE................................... SARNOSO


FRESA JUNTO A UN AUTO............................. AUTOMOVILISTA

NACO JUNTO A UN AUTO.............................. MECANICO


FRESA MANEJANDO AUTO.............................. PILOTO

NACO MANEJANDO AUTO............................... CHOFER



FRESA EN UNA COMISARIA............................ DENUNCIANTE

NACO EN UNA COMISARIA............................. DETENIDO


FRESA CANSADO..................................... EJECUTIVO CON ESTRESS

NACO CANSADO...................................... PINCHE HUEVON


FRESA LEYENDO ESTO................................ REFLEXIONA

NACO LEYENDO ESTO................................. SE RIE COMO IMBECIL...


QUE??? NO YA NO TE GUSTO!!! UUUHHHiiii QUE NACO...

kinda dorky...

Oración de adictos a Internet

Satélite nuestro que estas en el cielo,
acelerado sea tu link.
Venga a nosotros tu hipertexto.
Hágase tu conexión,
en lo real como en lo virtual.
Danos hoy nuestro download de cada día.
Perdona el café sobre el teclado,
así como nosotros perdonamos a nuestros proveedores.
No nos dejes caer la conexión,
y líbranos de todo virus.
Amen.

that's funny

this is long but it's INTRESTING

THINGS TO KNOW
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and
see the dead skin and blackheads if any
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11. Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of
sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet - Jello!
16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent
section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink
this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon
plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt
them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a
coffee filter paper
21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a
can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn
starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in
the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food
color of your choice!
27. Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie
a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and
cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for
many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate
toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the
salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax
stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper
softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food
to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also, you can use 2 Efferdent tablets,
soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36. Dirty grout - Listerine
37 .Stains on clothes - Colgate
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from
the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car
batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand
for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer
aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever
wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness?
Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a
week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a
different color twist tie. They are: Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green,
Thursday = Red Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow. So if today was
Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a
week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red -
White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember.

I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread
wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic
clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy freshbread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

This post has been edited by Mexican_Girl03 on Apr 30 2004, 06:59 PM

dammit...

Hay dos compadres pescando y llega un gringo y les dise"What u fishin,What u fishin"y le dise oye compadre te dijo son ama of a biche.Y se empiensan a pelear.Y luego llega el policia y les dise "Your under arrest" y le dise oye compadre dice que trais el culo alreves..Se empiesan a pelear y luego llega la esposa y dise "live him alone.live him alone"y dise oye compadre dice que tienes el culo pelon.Y luego llega el cura y dise"jesus crise"oye compadre dice que chichis trais..

ROTFLAMO

that one was funny and i actually understood it me being the WHITE GRL I AM !!! lol

LoL...good ones...well i heard this joke on the radio i thought it was kinda funny

Vino un senor a tocarle la puerta a don Hector Velasquez a las 3 de la manana...el senor le dijo..."oyga no me pueda puchar"....hector le contesto..."no mames como te voy a puchar"....y le cero la puerta....regreso a la cama con su esposa..y su esposa le dijo..."quien era??" ....hector le contesto "un pinche guey que quieria que lo puchara"...su esposa le dijo..."no seas malo...al la mejor se quedo ahi tirado, ve y dale un puche"....[[LMAO....funny shit man]]...enctonces Hector salio afuera y grito "DONDE ESTA EL GUEY QUE QUIERIA QUE LE DIERA UN PUCHE" y contesto un baboso "AQUI ESTOY EN LOS COLUMPIOS"...LMAO....it was kinda funny

^ LOL


--Knock Knock!!!

-Who's there??

--Someone too short to ring the doorbell.

LOL. do u get it or should i explain it????