Jokes and Riddles

LOL HEHEHEHE!!! FUNNY!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?.

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE? >> > One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" No, I don't," said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work. " Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of a$$!".

lol pinche loca those were funny specially tha last two lolz...

Post your jokes, riddles, whatever here!

A little girl went with her dad to get his hair cut. She stood next to him as she ate a muffin while the barber cut his hair. The barber told the little girl, "Honey you're going to get hair on your muffin" to which she replied, "I know and one day I'm going to get t.i.t.s too!"


Hahaha, okay it was corny but cute. Anyone else?

I got one!!

~*50 Cent got a sweater from his grandmother, what did he say to her in responds?*~











***Geeeeee-U..Knit!...***

HAHA G-UNIT...Get it!!!??? LOL, PEACE OUT 1

This post has been edited by XxXdrewsbaby88XxX on Apr 13 2004, 02:28 PM

lol those are both funny

ROFL@that second one...it took me a minute to get it LMAO

Hahaaa...wish i had one too...but i dont!

haha, those were both funny!


A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I thin k I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

This post has been edited by -STARR- on Apr 13 2004, 06:11 PM

HAHAHHAHAHAHA...good one!!!

LMAO! Those are funny!!

lol it took me a while 2 get that g-unit one lol i am slow!!

i have some but i will post them laterz!!!

her goes mine...

porque el mar es azul?

...porque los pescaditos le hacen "blu blu..blu blu"
lol yeah i know cheesy jijij .......anywho!

omg ^^^ my mother says that one all the time!! and it never fails, everytime she tells it, i crack up..

Heres 1......




A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," you don't understand.
"I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom.
"Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -
'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"