Things That Make You Sad/feel Down

i know how u feel .J.

WELL my aunt recently adopted a cat and well she had kittens three of them and they are just so cute. my aunt was going to give me one and the one that i chose was BLACK & WHITE so i decided her name would be OREO and my little cousins named the other two CALI AND JiM. well yesterday when i got home from school i went inside and put my backpack down and went outside to go get my kitten i was looking and looking and i couldnt find her usually at the sound of my voice she comes running but she didnt then i heard someone open the back door and i turned around and i saw my little cousin crying and he was holding a kitten but it wasnt his it was JIM, his cat was Cali so i asked him where was OREO & CALI and he started crying even more then finally he said that a dog came into the yard and killed cali & oreo. i didnt believe him at 1st so i went inside and asked if anybody had seen my cat and then they told me the story i kept crying and crying!! i loved that cat so much!!so now we only have 1 cat out of three!!!

and i feel so sad and down right now!!!

This post has been edited by XxSmileyxX on May 15 2004, 10:32 AM

Okay I don't know how to feel about this one.

I read some websites today about the beheading of that man in Iraq. Well a lot of people are calling bullshit on them because they think it was a set up. It goes into a lot of details that make you think.

http://www.axisoflogic.com/artman/publish/...icle_7655.shtml
http://english.pravda.ru/mailbox/22/101/39...12790_Berg.html

What makes me sad is not that this might be something pulled by the government but that the person of that man is suffering through all this. Whatever did go down, I feel for the family who has to go through this.

Things at home right now really suck.....BIG TYME....i mean i left home like in March to and was living with a friend and now im back at home after not being there for about a month!!!! The number 1 thing is that i think my friends dont want ething to do with me!!! For 1...sum big shyt had happen and i think it changed ething!!!!! And another is tha gurl i was living with thinks i snitched on her and now she is like totally different with her and i would never do that to her!!!!! I didnt tell antybody ething and but she thinks i does!!!! 2nd....my homegurl who i have known for about two yrs now i havent spoken to and i thinks its gonna be like that for a while!!!! 3rd...my family problems are growing worse eday!!!! My younger brother thinks being in juvie is the best thing to do...he hits me and cuses at me and my mother!!! The second older one is in a gang and isnt doing well with ething.....and my MOM....she still wants to treat like a lil kid....so i always go and stay with my homegurl who is always there for me....MY HOMIE MELISSA....she has been there for me for the past three weeks....RIght now im just trying to save my money so me and her can get our own apartment but i really hope things go to the way they were becuse i miss my friends a whole lot.....they mean alot to me and i would do ething for things to get to get back to tha way they were!!!!! That is what is making me sad and depressed!!!!

that is crazy... if they would televise or put more attention on that article i bet a whiole bunch of ppl. would be enraged @ the idea... i feel for his family too.

ok... my sadness (kinda sorta fading):

yesterday we got our yearbooks and during our last class we had a yb signing party and david goes up to me (after several weird glances during the party) and he hands his yb and goes WHAT YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME ALREADY?... (i already felt all melancholic already... kinda sorta watery eyes).. and i stared @ him and was quiet for sec or 2.. and go YES. he goes oh alright.. and starts walking away.. i got hey im playing... and hes like sign my book... but i told him i couldnt right now cause i had like 3 other books that i had to sign b4 his.. hes like alright ill be back later.. but the bell rang and everybody went home. It makes me sad cause damn... I CANT FORGET BOUT HIM! and how could he go up and ask me if i forgot bout him when its him that acts like i dont exist! fudging gay.

and i just got back from the graduation practice.. they played our school song.. david sat right behind me (row behind me, seat behind me) and idk.. i wanted to cry real bad.. a lot of seniors were... i feel like i got so much unfinished business.. so many things i wish i could re-do.. fix and no time to do it. I mean i want to leave high school asap... but not feeling like this...

aww thats a sin ! hope things straighten up with u and davidd =(

ahh no ones gonna read this one but itll make me feel good 2 type it out...for everyone in the world 2 see..hahhh well theres this whole typical love story thing with me n this guy n then we went to a party and i got really drunk mom got pissed at me n him and she flipped out at him and then we brokee up and now were not even good friends cause he got kicked outta school and so yeah it sucks n i cant talk to my best friend about it cause she wouldnt understand cause she used 2 like him so now.....and yeaaaaah ... the song "nobody knows it but me" by babyface really reminds me of the whole thingg haha such a pretty songg lol =P love it

haha oh yeah i just came 2 this site thingg today so i just put random replys in everywhere ii suck lol

What makes me sad?? I posted it in guy updates. Im sooo depressed right now...really i am. Last night i cried so much, i even puked. I took 8 advils last night before goin to bed...i dunno, i guess hopin somethin would happen to me while i slept. But nooo...i just woke up a lil light-headed.

This post has been edited by Drewdreama on May 31 2004, 01:25 PM

My boyfriend leaving on June 7th. :(

Well...you guys all know that ive been havin a lot of problems with my bf...if not u should read the Guy Updates section. But yea...i was feelin really depressed last night...so i did sumthin really stooopid. My parents had left to go see Shrek 2...and i was home alone. I talked to him on the phone....we argued some more about the subject...him likin my cousin's wife. I keep askin him what does he think when he looks at her...he says nothin, he tries not to even look. Then i asked what did he used to think when he liked her (when he looked at her) and he said nothin...he just looked at her. I said its not possible to look at someone u like, and have a blank mind...u know? He musta been thinkin she looked good...DUh...but he keeps lyin and sayin he didnt think shit. Then i asked what changed, since now he says he dont like her no more...what changed his crush?? He answered "well, i realized i wanted to be with u and only u. And even if she has that body, you've got a lil sumthin too...and if u work out a lot, u can manage to look better. Im thinkin of the future not now...and i think u will loook good when ur old." <<-------That was his answer...now, i dunno, that didnt sound too good to me. I said "so in the beginnin when she started comin around, u werent sure u wanted me??" He said yea, hes always wanted me. I said "Well..u said u REALIZED u wanted me." He said..."look, thats my answer, take it or leave it." He said he just liked her for her body...and since she looks different from my family (including me), it was a nice change....but it got old. He said he never wanted to BE with her...jus liked her body. I said "Did u ever fantasize about her, did u ever think about her when u touched me?" He said "No...he just liked her body in the beginning and dats it." Ok...so i dunno.

Well..he made me cry soo much last night...everything he was sayin was makin me feel worse. I dunno...i cried for over 3 hours straight...and all he could do was mock me, and make fun of me...and it made me feel bad. He kept letting me go...to eat, b/c he had other calls...he had all these excuses. And then his phone was out of battery...and we hadnt even been on the phone all day...so he musta been talkin to someone else. He kept avoidin my questions and stuff....all his comments were makin me feel worse period. A comment i loved : "you can look good too." He said that after i said that he thinks she's perfect. He said she's not perfect b/c her nose is big...but everything else is. And he said "Well, i like ur attitude" I said "no, you dont, u've told me that" He said "Ur right, not even that." Then i said oh but hers u love. He said "Well, i dont like URS." Ha!

Ok...so after all that cryin and him hangin up on me...i called him back to tell him i was gonna take some pills...he said he didnt give a Funnyk. that he didnt care what i did...and he wasnt my bf so y should he. He said Funnyk me, and hung up. So i did it. I took a total of about 40 pills...headache pills....hopin they'd hurt me to the point where i might die. Nothin was happenin...i was just gettin tired and my face felt heavy, and i couldnt walk straight. We hung up at 11pm..and then i went to the restroom...then to bed. A lil while later i got up to puke. And throughout the whole rest of the night i kept wakin up every 10 minutes...to puke. I got overall about 1 hour of sleep...total all night. I must've puked more than 30 times. And at first it was red...sorta bloody-ish...later it was just green...dark green. My mom was up with me all night, helpin clean me and stuff. Literally, we got no sleep. She said if i wasnt better in the mornin, we'd go to the doctor.

We left my house at around 7am...went to the clinic, only to find out the doc dont come in till after 9:30...so then we went to another clinic...and guess wat. it's shut down, no longer a clinic. Oh, btw...my mom thought i had only taken like 4 pills....for a headache. Later i told her what reallly happened and she started cryin. She said y did i do it...but i never answered. So then she said i shoulda said that since the beginning...she drove to the hospital. On the way...i musta puked about 8 times or sumthin...i started feelin really numb...and i would get really really cold...and right before puking i'd start sweating really bad. We got to the ER entrance of the hospital...i could hardly see, breathe, think; I couldnt move my body, i was completely numb. The man said i had to get out the truck and onto a wheelchair...i couldnt hold myself, so he practically carried me. They got me in the hospital...i puked again...then they took me to the ER and started all kinds of shit on me. They drew blood, gave me some other shots to calm me down i guess...to stop the puking. They said i was breathing to fast and that was puttin me at risk. I could hardly get air in...but after that shot, i felt much much more calm. I could now open my eyes...but my body was ultra numb...and i was FREEZING...they put about 4 covers on me. They made me take off my clothes and put all this shit on me...and felt all over...and yea. I was literally asked the same questions about 6 different times, by different people. I once opened my eyes, and was surprised when there was a HUGE crowd around me...it was chaotic. I finally calmed down, but i felt really weak. They asked me some more questions...transferred me to another room. THen they had some counselors come talk to me...for a lil while. They made me pee in the cup...they did chest x-rays...they asked a lot. They gave me a pill to calm my tummy down...they got me on that saline shit. Drew some more blood...and yea, i got to sleep a little. But people kept comin to ask me stuff. Finally, in the end i felt alive again...so much better. So yea...the doctor came and told me i should really consider serious counseling and that everything was ok now. He said i should wait for the paperwork, and then i could leave. So i did...then we went to go get the medicine they prescribed...it was a long wait...so we went to get sumthin to eat. All of a sudden some social work lady comes up to me and tells me she's been lookin for me all over and some lady told her where i was at...yea. We had a long talk and she gave some numbers to call for help. She said im much too precious to let a guy make me want to harm myself. SO yea...then i ate, got my medication, and left. It was a long day, but things are ok now...with my health.

Ok...let me continue...

So yea, the doc said that if my momma wouldnt have took me to the hospital when she did...if we woulda waited longer, i might've died.

Ok..so i get out and i check my cell...he left me a message talkin about how im a Slurpee and a liar and a cheater. He said he came to my house and my car wasnt here and he knows i was with another guy and Funnyk me. He said he didnt wanna be with me no more, and just dont call no more.

Ummmm....ok, how did that make me feel? So then i called him...the machine came on. I left him a message tellin me where i had been all day. Later he called me and said dat i should quit lyin and tell him the truth. He said all i am is a Slurpee and hes sorry for wastin his time on me. I then found out that my bro-in-law used my car today...it's at his house...and it has a flat tire. My "bf" says im lyin and that he passed by there and it wasnt there either. Uhh..maybe cuz he ran errands???!!! So he was callin me all sorts of names and tellin me to quit with da bs. I kept tellin him i could've died, he said he didnt give a Funnyk and he dont wanna be with me no more. He said he dont believe me and i better have proof. So i stopped answerin his calls. Up until a lil while ago hes been callin and i dont answer. He hasnt said ONE nice thing in any of those messages. He doesnt care for me...and to think i almost killed myself over him. Omg...what was i thinkin?

And to top it off...i found out sumthin else. He went to play golf today..and he brought up that when he used to tell me he was at work...he wouldnt actually be there. He would go play golf instead of work....OMG...there's another lie! When will he stop?

I risked my life over someone who doesnt care. I almost died for someone who doesnt like me, someone who hates me, someone who takes me for granted, someone who considers me no more than a Slurpee and a hoe. He said i shoulda at least called him. Ok...what part of I WAS IN THE ER doesnt he understand?? He said i shoulda told my mom to call him...I WAS TOO SICK to think...i was NUMB...i couldnt breathe...i didnt have a phone, i wasnt thinkin about a phone...i wasnt thinkin at all except of all the pain i felt. Why doesnt he get it???

U know it hurts me soo much that he lied to me for so long about her. We had about 10,000,000,000 arguments over him likin her...or so i thought he did. He always tried to convince me i was wrong and that he didnt like her, that he never looked at her...that he was never attracted to her. And yet, he could NEVER say the words "I like you better" He could never say "Im not attracted to her" He always just said "Man, i dont like her...quit arguin about it." It hurts to know he tried soooo damn hard to lie to me when i knew the truth all along. And yea, it might be petty that im so mad over this. Im mad that he liked her when supposably he loves me soo much....then how did he have room to fall for her??? BUt then again...it hurts me even more that he lied for so long and tried so hard to make me feel like i was in the wrong. It hurts me that he's STILL not bein honest all the way with me. He already hurt me, might as well do it all the way.

And then it burns me inside that he lied through his teeth this one time. We were at my sisters house havin dinner. It was me, my mom, my sis, and her hubby and we were talkin about my cousin's wife and how shes so "perfect." Then they asked my "bf" what did he rated her on a scale of 1-10 with 10 bein the best. He said "Uh...about a 3." HE LIED SOO BAD right there...he thinks shes perfect! OMG...it makes me mad.

And a long time ago, we were lookin at some magazine and there was this gal in a swimsuit...he said her body was perfect and just plain fine. Well...guess what....she has the exact same body as my cousin's wife...so yea, she must be perfect. Then i told him about this...he said he dont 'member. And he said, how do u know her body looks like dat... u never seen her naked. And then i said, yea, i actually have, so i do know. He didnt say nothin. Then about 2 hours later...we were silent on the phone...no one was sayin anything..literally. And then he busts out sayin "So what, when did u see her naked?" I was like OMG...hes thinkin about her...picturing her. I told him i didnt see her naked, naked....i saw her in her panties and her bra when she changed in front of me...and he was like oh. I said y u still thinkin about her...he said i wasnt, i just find it disturbing that u saw her naked...and i wanted to know y. I said yea right, its cuz u cant stop thinkin about her...he said "aight man, i cant."

I mean, this isnt like a one time thing u know? Supposably he LOVES ME, but yet, he likes her...how am i supposed to feel? She'll always be there with her perfect lil body...he'll always like her even though he will always deny it...omg...im depressed. I hate being ugly, i hate being jealous, i hate my life.

The counselor said that if i try to commit suicide again...and a cop happens to be called to the scene...i can end up in prison...so i shouldnt try it again. She also asked me if i wanted to get locked up in an insane asylum for a while, to sort out my thoughts. I said no...but maybe.

It makes me real sad how depressed i am...over him...and he doesnt even care. All he cares about is other girls, and makin fun of me.

~Im sorry i wrote so much...i needed to vent...i feel really bad. Probly no one will read this long Butt shit...but hopefully SOMEONE will...

OMG gurl! Glad ur Ok now.

but.... no guy should be worth ur life. i mean.... sorry to say this but if ur alwayz arguing w/ him and stuff then maybe u should just let him go. b/c ur so pretty and everything and i know that there is another guy out there that will treat u the way u should be treated and care for u and everything. don't put up w/ all this BS.... or maybe u 2 jsut need a lil break

just my opinion. but glad ur OK and nothing more serious happened. cuz we'd really miss ya here in the forums.

Thank you for actually readin my novel...lol. And thank you for ur words...they help, really, they do. But u know...its really hard to let go...especially when u DONT WANT to. I love him soo much...so much...he's my everything. But he makes me do stooopid stuff and i hurt myself a lot. Yea, there are a lot of guys, but what can i do. HEs the one i want...even tho i get treated lihe shit...i dunno, its hard to explain. I love him soooo much. A lil too much.

And about us takin a break...my mom said the same thing. I dont trust him enuff to have a break...and he doesnt either. I know, i know, a relationship cant be w/out trust...but we seriously dont have any. The last time we took a break, i ended up messing up. ANd that's what always comes up when we argue...how i messed up. ANd it makes me angry that all this time he's blamed me and hated on me for my Funnyk up...and yet, he was cheatin on me tha whole time with his mond...u know? Not exactly the same, but still hurtful...

LOURDES YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!

dude ima be straight up honest with you.. seriously you are SOO Pretty.

I wish i could slap you and hug you @ the same time.

ok here i go...

DROP IT... you cannot torture yourself for the rest of your life over this chick... and you need to try to stop hating her too cause that's going to stress you out as well. You're boyfriend seems like an @sshole.. he reminds me so much of Francisco... he would never compliment me, the few times he did it made me feel super good about myself... and that was the main reason i always felt not good enough. I would always ask cisco stuff about what he thought about other girls looks and he knew that i felt inferior and ugly and his stupid butt never did anything to try to make me feel better. YOU DON'T NEED THIS!!! stop asking your boyfriend shit about that girl its only going to hurt you to hear what NORMAL MEN THINK.. lo vas a fastidiar to the point he leaves you and thats the easiest way you could ruin the relationship... by annoying him.. it changes the way he thinks of you .. it even changes how attracted he is to you SO STOP IT.

and i honestly think you need to let him go for some time till he learns to appreciate you. wtf is that about u being in the hospital and him calling you those names? you're worth so much more than that!!! God put you here for a reason lourdes... you have a purpose... God loves you and you were not in this world to suffer over ur guy. If your boyfriend doesnt change then just have patience and faith that there are BIGGER AND BETTER things for you in life.

It honestly hurts me to see that you get to a point of harming yourself... you're beautiful inside and out and you can't let a guy have authority over your emotions. if he calls you and starts being an asshole don't be a Biscuit back... let him talk to himself and realize how stupid he's being. and PRAY!!!.. if you don't have a good relationship with God don't expect to have a good relationship with men.

maybe if your mom or somebody else breaks down to him what happened with you in the ER, he'll realize and appreciate you more and hopefully he starts treating you better... but it shouldnt take a trip to the hospital for him to realize how good he has it.

AND STOP STRESSING THAT CHICK!!!

I know...i mean, i hear what everyone is saying. I just got off the phone with my friend...she kept tellin me how she felt about me bein with him. And her friend in the background was givin me advice, too. I know how much i messed up by doin what i did...but i thought he would care if sumthin happened to me. Come to find out, he STILL doesnt even believe me. I thought he would at least show up yesterday OR today to hug me or SUMTHIN....but no...he didnt even call. Last night he kept leavin me messages, i didnt talk to him. I almost died...and all he does is tell me im a Slurpee and he needs PROOF that i was indeed in the ER.

Everyone keeps tellin him to leave him completely...or if not, at least take a very long break, long enuff to realize how happy i can be without him. I dunno if i can do dat. I love him soo much...but he doesnt care...he hates me. And about this girl dat he likes...i dunno, i cant stop thinkin about how he likes her. I cant get it out of my head. WHY cant he like only ME? I like only HIM! And i think he already is annoyed...he keeps tellin me he's tired of my shit...and that all i do is talk crap. Well...then dont put me in that position, u know. I like to have a bf...that is MINE...and no one else's.

And about the complementing...same here. He hardly ever complimented me. But then i kept bringin it up all the time, how he doesnt think im attractive and all dat. And well, now he compliments me most of the time on sumthin or other....BUT...now i feel like he's only doin b/c i told him to. I dont even think he means it, just like when he tells me he dont like that girl...he's just sayin dat cuz he knows that if he says he still likes her, it will hurt me more. So i feel like everything he says is a lie.

Maybe it IS time for a break...but i cant. I cant do it.

Lourdes, I agree 100% with Jeannette, please just leave it alone. I know it's difficult, I know that you think your world will end without him. But guess what, it won't. In fact, your world will end IF YOU STAY. This is a self-destructive relationship. He knows he has this power over you and he gets some sick pleasure out of it. If he really wanted to, he would've left you. No girl can force a guy to stick around. He enjoys treating you like crap and you don't know how much that pisses me off. Why would you want to stick with someone who makes you cry on a nightly basis? YOU ARE A GORGEOUS GIRL. Seriously, from the things I've read it seems that your self-conciousness is HIS FAULT. I honestly think you are a beautiful female and any guy would be lucky to have you.

Just please think hard about going into counseling. I know a million people could give you a million words of advice and it wouldn't change your mind. It has to come from you. Just consider it. And put yourself in God's hands. He is wonderful and has a plan just for you. Pray with all your heart, talk to Him and you'll see that things will change.

Good luck and God bless. you'll be in my prayers.